Today was my day back in the black-hole we call Family Court. While it was a miserable experience, as always... it was another opportunity to learn a little more that I can share with you.
My ex and I were scheduled for a hearing today on a number of things, one of which was a Motion that he filed to Modify his Child Support. While the hearing was postponed (no surprise there), I have some great pointers to share, should you find yourself in a similar situation.
Here's the scenario: My ex was employed full time and the child support he was ordered to pay was set up to be deducted from his paycheck and submitted through the State of Illinois. A couple months ago he claimed that he was laid off from his job, filed for unemployment and went to the courthouse and filed a Motion to Modify (reduce) Child Support.
Normally, this might make sense, if he really got laid off. HOWEVER, he didn't. I discovered this by making a simple phone call to his employer on the day I received his Motion. I identified myself and asked to talk to the person in charge of payroll. I stated that I had received notice that my ex was no longer employed and needed to verify that information to confirm that the company would not be withholding child support payments. They informed me that my ex was still employed but had refused to show up for work. Wow...
I was in court when the Motion went before the Judge, I simply stated that I was contesting the Motion due to the fact that my ex's employer had stated that he was still employed and voluntarily not showing up for work. The Judge set the Motion for hearing. This means that my ex now had to prove his case to the Judge proving that he was no longer employed, BY NO FAULT OF HIS OWN. If he could do this and show a significant change in his circumstances, the Judge would most likely rule in his favor and modify child support to 20% of his unemployment compensation (if this were to be done... ask the Judge to set a status date and mandate that the non-custodial parent prove that he is seeking employment and report back to the court on the status date with proof of his job search. By doing this, if he finds employment, you'll have the opportunity to verify this at the status date and increase the support.)
But, considering the present situation, I am on a mission to prevent that from happening. In Illinois, voluntary job loss is not grounds for reducing child support, especially if it not done in good faith. If I can prove that my ex did NOT act in good faith and voluntarily left his position, the Judge SHOULD refuse to allow the reduction in child support.
Step one... get witnesses! My best chance of proving that he deceived the Court seemed to be by having his employer present in court to tell the Judge that he was still employed and wasn't showing up on the job. Even though I can tell the Judge what they told me on the phone, it's hearsay and they must be in court to tell him themselves. Simple stuff, subpoena them.
Here's a link to the McHenry County Court Subpoena form for witnesses: Subpoena Complete this online, print and it's ready to be served. You can serve this by certified mail, hand delivery or by visiting the County Sheriff and having them serve it. In my situation, I made a very nice phone call to the employer, explaining my situation and my need for their testimony. Fortunately, they were sympathetic (not to mention the fact that they weren't very happy with him either for his refusal to come to work). You are required to pay witnesses a witness fee and mileage allowance. I searched high and low to find out what that amount is supposed to be, even the courthouse had no idea! So I mailed a $50 check (they were having to drive about 70 miles) along with the subpoena via certified mail. NOTE: Be very careful and very specific in the information you put in your subpoena. Don't let your hard work get rejected because of a silly typo or technicality. Proof read carefully!! Be sure you are requesting the testimony of the right person (in my case, the office manager who was responsible for payroll and maintained employee files), and make sure you are specific in requesting them to bring vital information "all payroll records, employee correspondence, proof of termination or proof of job assignments", etc.
As I said, my hearing was scheduled for today and guess what? My witness showed up! Of course, now my ex is scared (as he should be) and he pleaded with the Judge to continue his hearing for his Motion to Modify Child Support so he can go find a lawyer. Hmmmm.... so instead of just paying the child support he owes (and he only is responsible for child support for 8 more months), he's going to pay a lawyer about $2500+ to try to help him reduce it? So, in an effort to try to save about $200 a month for the next 8 months he will now pay an attorney over $300 a month for 8 months instead. Am I the only one seeing the problem here? Wouldn't a good attorney point this out? Right... they'll take his case! So I continue the battle to effectively and intelligently represent myself.... Charge!
In my next blog... this is going to get more interesting. As I know of my ex and I hear from so many women, what about the money for sidejobs, etc that they are making and not claiming? It's not easy to prove, but I have a few ideas!
As always, your comments and questions are welcome! I'm sure there are many parents out there with tough lessons learned... sharing them makes us all that much smarter and more prepared!
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
How much child support are you getting??
Fundamentally, child support in Illinois is pretty basic stuff... the non-custodial parent pays a percentage of their net income to the custodial parent, depending on how many children there are.
The State of Illinois has a pretty informative website for calculating child support and outlining the laws- http://www.ilchildsupport.com/calculating.html
Seems simple enough... until they don't pay it! Or they make claims of reduced income, fail to tell the Court about all that side work cash, pay late and of course... just plain lie. I've never really been able to wrap my head around what a parent must be thinking to try to "get out" of paying child support. Guess it doesn't matter, because whether they consider it a burden or not... we're going to make sure they pay it!
Step one... whether or not the other parent is paying as they should, is the court order that's been established for how much they are supposed to be paying based on the calculations above? Has there been a change of employment and you aren't really sure what they should be paying? Have you seen a tax return or pay stub in awhile?
If you feel that you aren't receiving what you should, time to go to Court and the Judge to take a look! As always, take a rational look at whether the amount you are disputing is going to be worth the time you will need to invest in going to court. In a case where your ex is paying what he's ordered to (even if it is outdated), you will be responsible for your own time, fees, etc.
Here's the process: 1) you are going to go file a Motion to Modify Child Support 2) serve a Notice of Motion to the other parent 3) file these documents at the court house 4) show up at court, most likely have a hearing date set and then 5) you'll go back to court again to present your case in a hearing. And depending on how things go, whether the other parent gets an attorney, etc... you could go back again, and again, and again...
To file the Motion to Modify Child Support, you need to first either write the Motion (you can easily do this on the computer and your state or county may have these forms available online... google it!) or you can go to the Clerk of Circuit Court and pick up a blank Motion form and write in your request. This Motion is your official request to the court to make a change in the amount of child support you are receiving. It should also state why you are making this request (ex. Due to an an increase in Joe Blow's net income....)
Next Step... you are going to file a Notice of Motion. This document will include the court date that the non-custodial parent will have to come to court to address the Motion to Modify Child Support. Again, sample at the bottom. To obtain a court date so the Judge can hear your motion, you can call ahead to see if they will schedule a date over the phone. Or you may have to leave the date and time blank until you go to file the papers at the courthouse, at which time the Clerk will assign a date and time. Typically, you will always be in front of the same Judge / Courtroom that finalized your divorce and handles all post-judgment issues.
When these two documents are completed, make lots of copies (four is good) and simply take them to the Court house and file them with the Clerk of Circuit Court. The Clerk will stamp your documents (make them stamp each copy) and will place one in your court file for the Judge to see. You are then responsible to send the defendant a copy of the Motion and the Notice of Motion. Check with the Clerk for local rules, but in McHenry County, IL, you can just mail them by regular mail to the known address of the defendant. But, to be safe, I always take the envelope into the post office, pay at the window and ask for a receipt (I'm a master at keeping a paper trail if I can.)
Now that those documents are mailed, you'll have to fill out a Proof of Service. On the court provided forms, the Proof of Service is on the back. If you have created your own forms, you will simply complete this page as another sheet. Before your court date comes around, you'll have to file this Proof of Service with the Clerk. You can even do it the day of court before you see the Judge. The Clerk will notarize it and file it for you. If the defendant doesn't show, this is proof for the Judge that they were notified of your intentions and given the opportunity to present their case.
That wasn't so hard! None of this should cost you anything to file (the $.44 stamp will cost you though.) By my estimates, you've already saved yourself at least $500 dollars in attorney's fees.
Samples: Here are 2 links to what I think are the most valuable tools I've found online. They give very detailed explanations and examples of this entire process. They are for the State of Illinois, but could be modified easily for use elsewhere.
http://www.law.siu.edu/selfhelp/info/childsupport/Modify%20Child%20Support.pdf
Sample forms
A couple of final notes:
... Be prepared to submit all your current financial info, the defendant will have to do this as well. Ask the Clerk about any Financial Affidavits that are required by your district. If you are in McHenry County, here is the link to the financial information you'll have to complete and file: http://www.co.mchenry.il.us/Departments/circuitclerk/PDFDocs/22_CV-AFF5_009.pdf
... Now that you are on your way to court... we're going to have to get prepared for a hearing, where you will be proving your case to the Judge. More on this coming soon.
... Put some thought into your options for receiving the child support payments. If you aren't already receiving your payments through the state disbursement unit, you might want to. It's really better for everyone and provides an excellent trail of payments. The money is withheld directly from the non-custodial parents paycheck and sent to the state to be deposited into your financial account. The paperwork seems overwhelming... but you can do this too! I'll write more on that later as well.
... If you think your ex isn't providing accurate information about their income, you're going to have to prove it. I recently discovered that you can easily subpoena their bank records to show any income that may be showing up in their bank account but not being reported. This has been the only way that I have been able to successfully show sidework, etc. I suppose you could hire a private investigator... but again, just how much of that investment will you really recover?
Statutory Guidelines of Child Support | |
Number of Children | Percent of Non-Custodial Parent's Net Income |
1 | 20% |
2 | 28% |
3 | 32% |
4 | 40% |
5 | 45% |
6 or more | 50% |
The State of Illinois has a pretty informative website for calculating child support and outlining the laws- http://www.ilchildsupport.com/calculating.html
Seems simple enough... until they don't pay it! Or they make claims of reduced income, fail to tell the Court about all that side work cash, pay late and of course... just plain lie. I've never really been able to wrap my head around what a parent must be thinking to try to "get out" of paying child support. Guess it doesn't matter, because whether they consider it a burden or not... we're going to make sure they pay it!
Step one... whether or not the other parent is paying as they should, is the court order that's been established for how much they are supposed to be paying based on the calculations above? Has there been a change of employment and you aren't really sure what they should be paying? Have you seen a tax return or pay stub in awhile?
If you feel that you aren't receiving what you should, time to go to Court and the Judge to take a look! As always, take a rational look at whether the amount you are disputing is going to be worth the time you will need to invest in going to court. In a case where your ex is paying what he's ordered to (even if it is outdated), you will be responsible for your own time, fees, etc.
Here's the process: 1) you are going to go file a Motion to Modify Child Support 2) serve a Notice of Motion to the other parent 3) file these documents at the court house 4) show up at court, most likely have a hearing date set and then 5) you'll go back to court again to present your case in a hearing. And depending on how things go, whether the other parent gets an attorney, etc... you could go back again, and again, and again...
To file the Motion to Modify Child Support, you need to first either write the Motion (you can easily do this on the computer and your state or county may have these forms available online... google it!) or you can go to the Clerk of Circuit Court and pick up a blank Motion form and write in your request. This Motion is your official request to the court to make a change in the amount of child support you are receiving. It should also state why you are making this request (ex. Due to an an increase in Joe Blow's net income....)
Next Step... you are going to file a Notice of Motion. This document will include the court date that the non-custodial parent will have to come to court to address the Motion to Modify Child Support. Again, sample at the bottom. To obtain a court date so the Judge can hear your motion, you can call ahead to see if they will schedule a date over the phone. Or you may have to leave the date and time blank until you go to file the papers at the courthouse, at which time the Clerk will assign a date and time. Typically, you will always be in front of the same Judge / Courtroom that finalized your divorce and handles all post-judgment issues.
When these two documents are completed, make lots of copies (four is good) and simply take them to the Court house and file them with the Clerk of Circuit Court. The Clerk will stamp your documents (make them stamp each copy) and will place one in your court file for the Judge to see. You are then responsible to send the defendant a copy of the Motion and the Notice of Motion. Check with the Clerk for local rules, but in McHenry County, IL, you can just mail them by regular mail to the known address of the defendant. But, to be safe, I always take the envelope into the post office, pay at the window and ask for a receipt (I'm a master at keeping a paper trail if I can.)
Now that those documents are mailed, you'll have to fill out a Proof of Service. On the court provided forms, the Proof of Service is on the back. If you have created your own forms, you will simply complete this page as another sheet. Before your court date comes around, you'll have to file this Proof of Service with the Clerk. You can even do it the day of court before you see the Judge. The Clerk will notarize it and file it for you. If the defendant doesn't show, this is proof for the Judge that they were notified of your intentions and given the opportunity to present their case.
That wasn't so hard! None of this should cost you anything to file (the $.44 stamp will cost you though.) By my estimates, you've already saved yourself at least $500 dollars in attorney's fees.
Samples: Here are 2 links to what I think are the most valuable tools I've found online. They give very detailed explanations and examples of this entire process. They are for the State of Illinois, but could be modified easily for use elsewhere.
http://www.law.siu.edu/selfhelp/info/childsupport/Modify%20Child%20Support.pdf
Sample forms
A couple of final notes:
... Be prepared to submit all your current financial info, the defendant will have to do this as well. Ask the Clerk about any Financial Affidavits that are required by your district. If you are in McHenry County, here is the link to the financial information you'll have to complete and file: http://www.co.mchenry.il.us/Departments/circuitclerk/PDFDocs/22_CV-AFF5_009.pdf
... Now that you are on your way to court... we're going to have to get prepared for a hearing, where you will be proving your case to the Judge. More on this coming soon.
... Put some thought into your options for receiving the child support payments. If you aren't already receiving your payments through the state disbursement unit, you might want to. It's really better for everyone and provides an excellent trail of payments. The money is withheld directly from the non-custodial parents paycheck and sent to the state to be deposited into your financial account. The paperwork seems overwhelming... but you can do this too! I'll write more on that later as well.
... If you think your ex isn't providing accurate information about their income, you're going to have to prove it. I recently discovered that you can easily subpoena their bank records to show any income that may be showing up in their bank account but not being reported. This has been the only way that I have been able to successfully show sidework, etc. I suppose you could hire a private investigator... but again, just how much of that investment will you really recover?
Monday, September 21, 2009
Lets set some ground rules before heading to court
YES, we know we're getting the short end of the stick, and we know better than anyone that our children are the ones paying for the irresponsibility of a parent not living up to their end of the deal... but how do we even get started in taking on the challenge of holding them accountable? The court system can be overwhelming to say the least... but YOU CAN take it on with a measurable level of success (I'll try not to use the word win... because if you've been in court much, no one wins!)
I have a few ground rules that I hold myself to... of course I'm going to share them with you, that's why we're here!
Rule #1: Emotions out... Business in. NOTHING gets us more worked up as parents than anyone or anything that hurts our children. Whether you are fighting for child support, medical insurance, educational reimbursement or custody... you are feeling pretty damn emotional! But to make this process really work for you... turn it into a business and try to save the emotions for a more appropriate time (refer to Rule #2 on this one). This is my motto when I'm on my way to court.. If she talks like a lawyer, dresses like a lawyer, stays calm and collected like a lawyer... hmmm, maybe I should respect her like she's a lawyer. :) My point- dress and act the part. This is the first step in being able to present your case to a judge in a professional manner, and trust me, they don't exactly look forward to emotional outbursts, unprepared plaintiffs and people spewing out stories that aren't based on facts and their impact on the law.
Rule #2: Keep the kids out of it! Not for one second will I pretend to be flawless at this rule myself, but I do try! This goes right back to Rule #1... keep the emotions out and treat this upcoming court case as you would your next project at work. Maybe you'll feel it necessary to give your children basic information, based on their age and understanding (example: Joey, I just want you to know that I am going to ask the Judge to make your dad pay off some outstanding money he owes me for medical bills. I'm not trying to hurt your dad, just trying to make sure I have enough money coming in to take care of you the best we can.) Although I know you want to share every little detail about how much he owes you, what a dirtbag he is, how difficult he's making your life, how unfair it all is and how you've paid all these bills and he never pays you back... my best advice... take the dog for a walk and tell her all about it! If you really need some feedback, call a friend, or a sibling, maybe even your mom. I don't know what I'd do without my cellphone and my wonderful sisters, who let me vent EVERY TIME I'm on my way to and from court! If you need to... send me an email, I'll listen to you!
Rule #3: Be Rational and Objective. Here's what I mean by this, lets say your ex is working at KFC making $8/hour. He's paying you $50 a week for your 1 child. Wow, that really sucks for you (and for him I imagine). $50 a week isn't much to raise a child on, you want more! But try as you may, you can't get more if it's not there to get. He's meeting his 20% net income requirement and hopefully he's working to move on to bigger and better things! Now if he had a great job, but left it to fry chicken so he wouldn't have to pay you as much money... game on! Look at your situation as objectively as possible... always. Know the facts of your financial situation and his (I'll tell you how to do this later too), know what you are entitled to and don't waste your time trying to collect the impossible. This is one of the most frustrating lessons to learn, because so often the law just appears to penalize the crap out of the custodial parent and gives all the flexibility in the world to the parent we are trying to collect from!
Patience my pretty... while we can't squeeze blood from a turnip, we can do our best to collect what we do have coming; child support, medical expense reimbursement, health insurance premiums, education expenses, college tuition, sports fees and extra-cirricular costs. Our children deserve the support of BOTH of their parents in creating desirable opportunities and the best care possible!
I have a few ground rules that I hold myself to... of course I'm going to share them with you, that's why we're here!
Rule #2: Keep the kids out of it! Not for one second will I pretend to be flawless at this rule myself, but I do try! This goes right back to Rule #1... keep the emotions out and treat this upcoming court case as you would your next project at work. Maybe you'll feel it necessary to give your children basic information, based on their age and understanding (example: Joey, I just want you to know that I am going to ask the Judge to make your dad pay off some outstanding money he owes me for medical bills. I'm not trying to hurt your dad, just trying to make sure I have enough money coming in to take care of you the best we can.) Although I know you want to share every little detail about how much he owes you, what a dirtbag he is, how difficult he's making your life, how unfair it all is and how you've paid all these bills and he never pays you back... my best advice... take the dog for a walk and tell her all about it! If you really need some feedback, call a friend, or a sibling, maybe even your mom. I don't know what I'd do without my cellphone and my wonderful sisters, who let me vent EVERY TIME I'm on my way to and from court! If you need to... send me an email, I'll listen to you!
Patience my pretty... while we can't squeeze blood from a turnip, we can do our best to collect what we do have coming; child support, medical expense reimbursement, health insurance premiums, education expenses, college tuition, sports fees and extra-cirricular costs. Our children deserve the support of BOTH of their parents in creating desirable opportunities and the best care possible!
Thursday, September 17, 2009
An introduction to my adventure in representing myself in court...
You know the story... high school sweethearts, romantic engagement, sweet little wedding, blissful marriage complete with 3 amazing children, a beautiful home and a couple of devoted dogs (even a few of horses.) Then it all goes wrong and next thing you know we're packing the house, separating the pooches, struggling to pay that pile of bills, looking for the "best" attorney and trying to explain to your children why their entire world has just come crashing down. If you're reading this, I assume you've been there and know that the pain and struggles I'm talking about.
In a divorce, everyone loses and no one walks away with what they think they are entitled to. But as parents, it should always be our job to put that aside and regardless of who has custody or what visitation schedule has been set up, to make sure that our children come first and that their needs are met, their self-esteem kept high and that they feel safe, secure and most importantly LOVED. Nothing is as sad as watching a parent fail at those vital responsibilities. Unfortunately, my ex failed.. miserably.
This isn't a bash fest by any means, as a matter of fact... I feel bad for him. He's missed some of the most amazing moments in a parents life. But sad as i may be for him, he has inherent obligations to his children. I can not force him to be a good parent, a supportive father or a compassionate dad... but I can make sure he provides the necessary financial support he is obligated to pay by law and according to our divorce agreement to give the best quality of life possible to our children. That's what this is all about... standing up for yourself, finding the skills and resources to take on that battle without putting yourself in a position to be financial ruined and living in a cardboard box. Attorney's, while knowledgeable and experienced, AREN'T cheap! You can do this on your own and I'm hoping to share what I've learned (morally, legally and emotionally) so more women can find the courage to file their own legal documents, conduct their own trials, issue their own subpoenas and face the Judge as a respected, educated and well prepared parent who is simply trying to provide the very best for their children.
More to come... please feel free to share your stories, offer your comments or give direction to topics of value to single parents.
Bobbi
In a divorce, everyone loses and no one walks away with what they think they are entitled to. But as parents, it should always be our job to put that aside and regardless of who has custody or what visitation schedule has been set up, to make sure that our children come first and that their needs are met, their self-esteem kept high and that they feel safe, secure and most importantly LOVED. Nothing is as sad as watching a parent fail at those vital responsibilities. Unfortunately, my ex failed.. miserably.
This isn't a bash fest by any means, as a matter of fact... I feel bad for him. He's missed some of the most amazing moments in a parents life. But sad as i may be for him, he has inherent obligations to his children. I can not force him to be a good parent, a supportive father or a compassionate dad... but I can make sure he provides the necessary financial support he is obligated to pay by law and according to our divorce agreement to give the best quality of life possible to our children. That's what this is all about... standing up for yourself, finding the skills and resources to take on that battle without putting yourself in a position to be financial ruined and living in a cardboard box. Attorney's, while knowledgeable and experienced, AREN'T cheap! You can do this on your own and I'm hoping to share what I've learned (morally, legally and emotionally) so more women can find the courage to file their own legal documents, conduct their own trials, issue their own subpoenas and face the Judge as a respected, educated and well prepared parent who is simply trying to provide the very best for their children.
More to come... please feel free to share your stories, offer your comments or give direction to topics of value to single parents.
Bobbi
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